The recent wave of political mayhem swirling
around Donald Trump has served to distract Life in the Boomer Lane from
thinking about anything else. At the forefront of her thoughts has been a scary
vision of Trump in the oval office, ignoring the pleas of his cabinet and
advisors to respond to any number of horrific global events, while he instead
spends all of his time on Twitter, ranting against anyone on the planet
(including crying babies) who he feels has insulted him in any way.
Thank goodness, an alert reader (who we shall
call Joyce) has rescued LBL from her Trump-induced miasma by sending her a
vital piece of info regarding female orgasms. Thanks to an article in The
Guardian, The Mystery of the Female Orgasm Solved, we can now penetrate the
veil of orgasm.
Scientists have long been puzzled by both the
advent of Trump, as well as that of the female orgasm. Both seem to be tons of
fun on occasion, and both serve to provide great conversation topics. But
neither seems to serve any actual useful purpose.
But scientists in the U.S. have come up with an
answer, if not about Trump, at least about the human orgasm. Human female
orgasm, they say, might be a spin-off from our evolutionary past, when the
hormonal surges that accompany it were crucial for reproduction. These
scientists, from Yale University, “describe how they delved into the anatomy
and behavior of a host of placental mammals to uncover the evolutionary origin
of female orgasm, based on the hormonal surges associated with it.”
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The article then goes on to detail all of the
opinions that a number of scientists have, opinions that allow them to use
words like “clitoris” far more than any normal human being should. The
conclusions, for those who like plain speak, is as follows: Orgasms probably
used to facilitate egg production, back before humans came on the scene. They
probably weren’t much fun (the orgasms, not the humans), but were there to aid
in the ultimate goal of reproduction.
Somewhere along the line, humans got a hold of
the orgasm and turned it into a fun thing to write books about. But, because
the mechanics of the orgasm stayed in a pre-human location in the body, it
meant that achieving one wasn’t quite as simple as all the XXX-rated movies
would have one believe.
Where does this leave us? Probably in the same
place we were before the research. Those who can achieve, will continue to do
so. Those who can’t, will have to amuse themselves in other ways. Either way,
we can safely say that thinking and talking about Trump will not allow anyone
to reach a climax, except maybe for Katrina Pierson, Trump’s spokesperson. LBL
has watched Pierson pretty closely, especially each time she says “MR Trump.”
Scientists might want to look into that phenomenon.
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