8 Ways Sex Affects Your Brain

Your brain on sex

Understanding how sex affects your brain can improve your roll in the hay, and it may also shed light on other parts of your health, says Barry R. Komisaruk, PhD, distinguished professor of psychology at Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey. It's not the easiest subject to study—test subjects might have to masturbate in an MRI machine—so research is still developing. But scientists are starting to unravel the mystery. Here's what we know so far about your brain on sex.

Sex is like a drug

Sex makes us feel good. That's why we want it, like it, and spend so much time hunting for mates. The pleasure we get from sex is largely due to the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that activates the reward center of the brain. Dopamine is also one of the chemicals responsible for the high people get on certain drugs. "Taking cocaine and having sex don't feel exactly the same, but they do involve the same [brain] regions as well as different regions of the brain," says Timothy Fong, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at UCLA's David Geffen School of Medicine. Caffeine, nicotine, and chocolate also tickle the reward center.

Sex can act like an antidepressant

A 2002 study out of the University at Albany looked at 300 women and found that those who had sex without a condom had fewer depressive symptoms than women who did use a condom. The researchers hypothesized that various compounds in semen, including estrogen and prostaglandin, have antidepressant properties, which are then absorbed into the body after sex. (They corrected for other things that might affect both mood and condom use, such as being in a serious relationship or use of oral contraceptives.) This is good news for anyone who is in a committed relationship, but if you're still playing the field, then you shouldn't give up condoms. There are other ways to boost mood, but really no other way to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.

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Sex can (sometimes) be a downer

Those feel-good chemicals may be going full blast during the act, but after? According to researchers, there is such a thing as post-sex blues (technical term: postcoital dysphoria). About one-third of the women participating in one study reported having experienced sadness after sex at some point in time. While it's possible that regret or feeling coerced might be the reason why, researchers can't explain the connection at this point for sure.

Sex relieves pain

Don't skip sex when you have a headache. Research shows that doing the deed may relieve your symptoms. In a 2013 German study, 60% of participants who had migraines and 30% of cluster-headache sufferers who had sex during a headache episode reported partial or total relief. Other studies have found that women who stimulated an area of the G spot had an elevation in pain threshold. "It took greater pain stimulus for them to feel the pain," says Beverly Whipple, PhD, a professor emerita at Rutgers University who has conducted some research on the topic. Whipple didn't study why this was so, but other researchers have attributed the effect to oxytocin, the so-called bonding hormone that helps mothers and babies bond and which also has pain-relieving properties.

Sex can wipe your memory clean

Each year, fewer than 7 people per 100,000 experience "global transient amnesia," a sudden but temporary loss of memory that can't be attributed to any other neurological condition. The condition can be brought on by vigorous sex, as well as emotional stress, pain, minor head injuries, medical procedures, and jumping into hot or cold water. The forgetfulness can last a few minutes or a few hours. During an episode, a person cannot form new memories or remember very recent events. Fortunately, there seem to be no lasting effects.

Sex may boost your memory

Or at least it might if you're a rodent. A 2010 study found that, compared with rats who were allowed only one one-night stand, rodents who engaged in "chronic" sex (once a day for 14 consecutive days) grew more neurons in the hippocampus, a region of the brain associated with memory. The findings were backed up by a second study, also in mice. It remains to be seen if regular sex also has this effect in humans (but you can always tell yourself it does).

Sex calms you down

The same study that linked frequent sex to a brain boost in rats also found that the rats were less stressed. This works for humans, too. One study found that people who'd just had sexual intercourse had better responses to stressful situations like public speaking than people who had not, or who had engaged in other types of sexual activity. How did sex ease stress?

Sex makes you sleepy

Sex is more likely to make men sleepy than women, and scientists think they know why: The part of the brain known as the prefrontal cortex winds down after ejaculation. This, along with the release of oxytocin and serotonin, may account for the "rolling over and falling asleep" syndrome.

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Get busy tonight

If you really need an excuse (or several) to heat things up in the bedroom, we've got you covered: Besides the obvious reasons one might have sex—love, pleasure, baby-making—science shows that there are quite a few health benefits to getting intimate. The next time your partner asks, "Was it good for you?" you can say yes—in more ways than one!

Sex burns calories

Yes, knocking boots counts as exercise—and it sure beats the gym! Depending on how physical you get, sex can strengthen muscle tone, increase your heart rate, and get your whole body working, says Justin Lehmiller, PhD, creator of lecturer in the department of psychology at Purdue University and author of The Psychology of Human Sexuality. And according to a 2013 study in which volunteers wore activity trackers while they did the deed, men burn about 101 calories per session, while women torch an average of 69. "Relatively speaking, that's not a huge amount," says Lehmiller. He points out, however, that sex in the study (from foreplay to orgasm) lasted an average of 25 minutes. "If you have sex for a longer period of time, you can have even more of those calorie-burning benefits."

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Sex helps you sleep

After orgasm, the body releases a relaxation hormone called prolactin, says Kristin Mark, PhD, director of the Sexual Health Promotion Lab at the University of Kentucky. "If you're not feeling particularly tired beforehand, having sex and reaching orgasm may certainly help you nod off a little more quickly than you would have otherwise."

Sex lowers your blood pressure and stress levels

In a 2005 Scottish study, volunteers were asked to record their sexual activity for two weeks and were then given anxiety-inducing tasks, like public speaking or solving math problems out loud. Those who'd had sex over the study period experienced smaller blood pressure spikes, and recovered from them more quickly, than those who hadn't. (Only penile-vaginal intercourse seemed to have this effect, not masturbation or other forms of sexual activity.)

The study suggests two important benefit of regular sex, says Mark: Better blood pressure control, and better stress management overall. "Sex not only lowers people's perceived levels of stress, but it also appears to helps them handle stress more effectively, as well," she says.

Sex strengthens your heart

Regular sex may benefit the cardiovascular system in other ways. A British study found that men who had sex at least twice a week over a period of 20 years were less likely to have died from heart disease than those who got it on less than once a month. After 10 years, in fact, their risk of sudden death was 50% less than that of the group that had less sex, although that gap lessened over the next decade.

These sorts of findings only show a correlation, not causation, says Mark. "People who have healthy sex lives probably have overall healthy lifestyles." Even so, she suspects there may be a connection: "Sex helps regulate hormones like estrogen and testosterone," she says, "which impacts all kinds of systems in the body, including the heart."

Sex may protect against cancer

Some studies have suggested that men who ejaculate more frequently may have a reduced risk of prostate cancer—although the difference appears to be very small, and others haven't found a conclusive link.

The benefits may be clearer for breast cancer prevention, however: A French study found that women who had sex at least once a month were less likely to develop breast cancer than those who didn't. And while the disease is rare in men, those who orgasm less than six times a month appear to be at increased risk of breast cancer compared to those who do so more often, according to a Greek study.

Sex boosts immunity

Getting busy on a weekly basis stimulates the immune system and provides protection from the common cold, according to a Wilkes University study. Researchers gave college students questionnaires about their sex lives, then tested their saliva for levels of immunoglobulin A (IgA), an antibody that helps fight off viruses. They found that the students who had sex once or twice a week had 30% more IgA than those who had sex less frequently. (They also, however, had higher IgA levels than those who had sex three times a week or more, suggesting that in this case, maybe you can get too much of a good thing.)

Sex relieves pain

Women often skip sex because of headaches, or so the cliché goes—but, according to a 2013 German study, going through with it may actually help them feel better. When study volunteers chose to have sex during a headache episode, about 60% of migraine sufferers and 30% of cluster headache sufferers reported partial or total relief.

Endorphins released during orgasm, as well as increased blood flow to the genital area, likely play a role in sex's pain-relieving power, says Mark. "Pain sometimes has to do with blood flowing to one particular area, like the head, and sex can take some of that pressure off by redirecting the flow."

Sex may extend your life

Several studies have found connections between a busier sex life and a longer life in general, most notably a Duke University study that took place between 1955 and 1980. Researchers found that for men, frequency of intercourse was related to longer lifespans; while for women, enjoyment of intercourse was the most significant factor.

"We can't really do cause-and-effect studies, so we don't know if sex actually helps people live longer, or if healthier people are just having more sex," says Lehmiller. "But from what we know about the other health benefits of sex, it probably won't hurt to have more of it!"

Sex strengthens relationships

Oxytocin, also known as the "love hormone," is released during physical intimacy and skin-to-skin contact—and it can help increase romantic feelings between you and your partner, says Lehmiller.

Want to boost that bond even more? Be sure to cuddle after sex: A University of Toronto study found that couples who were asked to spend extra time together after sex—kissing, talking, and being affectionate—reported higher levels of satisfaction with their sex lives and with their relationships.

Sex is the key to lasting happiness

Physical intimacy can be difficult to maintain as people age, especially if chronic illnesses get in the way. But people couples can especially benefit from staying sexually active, according to a 2014 study from Johns Hopkins University on adults ages 58 to 85: Researchers found that couples who regularly engaged in sexual activity—even as little as once a month—reported greater marital satisfaction and happier relationships than those who hadn't in a year or more.

Sexual activity didn't have to mean intercourse, either, or result in orgasm; the study authors say that anything couples do together to stimulate sexual arousal can have a lasting benefit.

Sex makes you smarter

A 2010 Princeton University study found that rats that have more frequent sex show more neuron growth in the hippocampus, a key brain region for learning and memory. "We know there are chemicals released during sex that activate the brain's rewards center, so it makes sense that this neurogenesis happens in people, as well," says Lehmiller. "In some ways, sex could potentially make you smarter!"

Sex makes you look younger

Research presented at the 2013 British Psychological Society annual meeting found that study subjects who had frequent sex (at least three times a week for people in their 40s and 50s) look between four and seven years younger than those who had less.

Why? Lead author David Weeks, PhD, suspects the endorphins and feel-good chemicals released during intimacy, plus sex's beneficial effects on sleep and stress levels. Sex also boosts blood flow and helps regulate hormones, says Mark, which can both have positive effects on skin's appearance.

Sex makes you want even more sex

It may sound counterintuitive, but having sex has actually been shown to increase libido, says Mark—in other words, the more you have, the more you want.

"Even if you don't have much desire in the first place, getting started can help you get in the mood, and it can also give you back some of that desire in the long run," she says. And with all of these other healthy reasons to have sex, why not do it even more?

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Ever wonder if everyone is having lots of perfect sex… except you and your partner? Most of us question how our sex lives stack up. But the reality is, the two of you don't have to experience Earth-shattering orgasms to have healthy intimacy. In fact, chances are your sex life is in better shape than you think—even with the occasional off-night or dry spell. Here, four top myths you shouldn't buy into.

Myth #1: You both need to be in the mood
It's normal for sex to be a little ho-hum for one or both spouses up to 15% of the time. Any number of factors can throw things a bit off-kilter: timing, your mood or his, the amount of foreplay, life stresses, you name it. Rather than postponing until the planets align, have sex when you can—and don't interpret an off night as a sign of a failing relationship. If your man seems disengaged, just be affectionate and look forward to next time. To keep things exciting, make a point of venturing out of your comfort zone occasionally with new positions, locations, and sexy videos.

However, if one or both of you is never, ever in the mood anymore, consider seeing a therapist or medical doctor to rule out any underlying health problems.

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Myth #2: The best sex is spontaneous
It's a fact of modern life: What we don't schedule, we don't do—and sex is no exception. Expecting it to just happen spur-of-the-moment could lead to long dry spells, whereas penciling it in on your calendar is a show of commitment; plus, it gives you both something to anticipate.

I advise my clients to establish a weekly time for intimacy, meaning anything from sex to cuddling. Choose a time you can both commit to easily, without exhaustion or daily responsibilities getting in the way. Devoting that time should take you back to those eagerly anticipated first dates.

Myth #3: You must have sex three times a week
Having sex regularly nourishes a relationship, sure, but don't get too caught up in the counting. Most happy couples don't have sex every day or even two or three times a week. What's important is that you both are satisfied with the frequency.

If that's not the case, start a discussion outside the bedroom by saying something like, "We don't have sex as often anymore, and it worries me." And remember: There's more to a healthy sex life than just sex. Get your RDA of intimacy by cuddling, holding hands, and spontaneously hugging and kissing.

Myth #4: Good sex is long and slow
Few of us can afford the luxury of leisurely sex. (Frankly, most of us secretly think it sounds like more work after an exhausting day.) And holding out for the ideal moment can lead to infrequent or, even worse, vacation-only sex. The solution? Embrace the quickie. Think of it like a sex snack, sure to boost your energy and put you back in the mood. For extra excitement, break out of the bedroom: Five-minute romps are perfect for unusual locations, even if that just means your shower or sofa.

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